Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
