Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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