Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
so much tequila, so little girl.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
