just tell him i said nine months
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
