I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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