I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize