Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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