I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
