You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
