We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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