At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
