At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
