Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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