On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
