I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
