so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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