I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
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This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
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Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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