dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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