My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
