i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
My life is pants optional.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
