It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
