If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
do nipples grow back?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
