You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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