Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
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Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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