The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
