so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
