im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
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There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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