Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
