just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
