There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
