Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Randomize