I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
