So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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