Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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