and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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