2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
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I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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