Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
