new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
