sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
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We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
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Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!