is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
