You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?