I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.