An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
THAT is your concern right now?
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...