Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
