Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
