very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
