Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'm always down for nudity.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
