He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
