Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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