okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
