i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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