I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
time to smoke my breakfast
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
