would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
