i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
