lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
