He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
