I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
