So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
