Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
