so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
