Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
